Ever met someone who seemed perfect, only to have the connection vanish overnight? You’re not alone. Texting after that initial spark can feel like a minefield—and when her replies slow down or stop completely, it’s hard not to take it personally.
This question recently landed in my inbox from a man who’s navigating exactly that. If you’ve found yourself confused about mixed signals and texting etiquette, read on. His story might sound familiar.
“Hey Erica-
Finding love by chance has been impossible for me. I met this amazing girl at a friend’s wedding last weekend. She is beautiful, has a great sense of humor, and seems to have her life together. We danced and hung out most of the night and I got her number. I texted her the next morning hoping she didn’t give me a fake number, she replied right away and we bantered back and forth most of the day. Then she just stopped texting. I thought maybe she missed the message so I texted her the next day around the same time and her reply was normal and included emoji’s. I responded to that text, and again, there was no response.
I waited a couple of days to message her and when I did, she responded immediately telling me about her full day of work appointments. I responded saying it sounds like you’re busy, text me when you get off work. I never heard back.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt chemistry with someone and I’d really like to know how to get someone to like you through text. If a girl keeps replying to your texts, even if it’s delayed, what does that mean? I really just want to experience a meaningful relationship with a great catch. With that being said, Erica, I really need your help.”
From the Expert: Erica Suzanne, The Modern Day Matchmaker
You’ve come to the right place for answers.
First, let’s be honest: there isn’t a magical text that guarantees a response. But there are a few things that might be getting in your way, and some shifts that can change the outcome next time.
1. Impressions Matter, Even in Texts
A guaranteed turn off in texting, is having lots of spelling and grammar errors.
It might seem minor, but for many women, sloppy texting reads as careless or immature and can immediately kill the passion. You don’t need to sound like a novelist, in fact minor imperfections here and there will make you sound natural. But, using “u” instead of “you,” “wat” instead of “what,” or too many abbreviations, can come across as immature and might be killing the vibe before it even begins.
2. She Might Be Wondering Why You Keep Texting Instead of Calling
Next, she is probably wondering why you keep texting her. Many women complain when all they get are text messages instead of the guy calling them (old school, I know) or directly asking them out without the back and forth texting. If you want the perfect text that will get her to respond, I hate to break it to you but there isn’t one.
If you want to become the person she focuses her time on, call her! If she really is interested in you, hearing your voice will remind her of that.
3. There Is No “Perfect” Text, but Curiosity Helps
If you’re looking for the line that gets a reply, you’ll be disappointed. Instead of sending repeated messages hoping to reignite interest, try sparking curiosity early on.
Share something playful. Tease an inside joke from the night you met. Then ask her out, directly. The back-and-forth can only go so far before she loses interest.
4. Reality Check: You Might Not Be the Only One
If she’s a catch (and she probably is), you’re likely not the only person in her inbox.
That’s not a bad thing, but it means you need to stand out by being direct, confident, and intentional. If she’s interested, she’ll make time. If not, her silence is your answer.
5. Lust vs. Compatibility
Lastly, don’t confuse lust with reality. She may look and sound like your perfect match, but at this point that’s all you know about her. A major red-flag for many women is someone that comes on too strong – let’s face it, nobody wants someone that is clingy.
Real Talk: Take Action or Let It Go
Instead of figuring out a magic technique to keep her intrigued with your texting skills, take action to see her. Finding true love on your own can be challenging however it’s certainly not impossible. Don’t leave it to chance. You must know what you want out of a relationship, know yourself and be willing to walk away from the methods that aren’t working.
Take action to see her. Be clear in your intentions. If you’ve done that, and she’s still lukewarm? Let it go.
Finding true love on your own is hard, but it’s not impossible. You just need to stop leaving it to chance.
Ready for a Real Relationship? Let’s Talk.
you’re done chasing lukewarm connections and want to meet someone aligned with your values, it might be time to work with a private matchmaker.
I work with men and women who are ready to date intentionally, communicate with confidence, and create meaningful relationships with real potential.
✨ Apply to work with me and let’s get clear on your path to love.
As always, I’m here to help.
– Erica Suzanne, The Modern Day Matchmaker
