In today’s world, texting is a common form of communication, if not the most used, when it comes to dating. You feel a surge of excitement, almost electric, seeing that special person’s name pop up on your phone screen. Even the hit you in the stomach will give you all the butterflies. But what about overthinking the good and bad sides of texting.
While it can have it’s advantages, it can also have a downside. Scenario: You met, exchanged numbers, and are now getting to know each other. While some prefer a good old fashioned phone call, there is something about texting that you can’t beat. Whether it’s actually having the words in front of you to read.. or re-read over and over again (c’mon, we’ve all been there), or grins that go from ear to ear after receiving a sweet message, texting is the new form of talking and flirting, and often the first means of getting to know your potential partner.
Then comes the hard part. Interpreting the text, or sometimes, the non-text. I spent many a night with my old roommate, sitting on the floor with a glass of wine, trying to figure out the texting game. Conversations would often go something like this:
“What does he mean by that?”
“Seriously, how am I supposed to respond to that?”
“If he uses one more exclamation point, I’m done.”
“Why are there so many emojis?”
“WHY hasn’t he texted me back yet?”
“Should I say this, or is it too soon”?
“Should I text him back right now… or wait 8 more minutes to make him think I’m not too desperate?”
The downfall of texting is there is plenty of room for interpreting a message wrong. Something as simple as a smiley face could send the other person into a fit of frustration, or of love.
So how do you avoid getting caught up in this game that can cause so much frustration and unnecessary anxiety?
The most important point is to realize that a text is just simply that, a text message. If a person wants to see you, they will let you know, whether it’s through a text or a call or maybe actually stopping to see you. But remember, you can’t have a relationship purely through texting (at least a healthy, happy one). Texting, if done right and naturally, is a way to send thoughts of encouragement or sweet nothings to your partner. Or a way to share inside jokes and pictures of your life, or even videos. It’s not meant to be a basis for your relationship or a tool to cause confusion or anxiety.
So, when you get discouraged about the way your “texting relationship” is going, pick up the phone and call that person. Ask them how they’re feeling, and truly get to know them by chatting or meeting up in person. Being intentional is one of the most important aspects of a relationship in the beginning. Be intentional. Show them you care. And avoid overthinking the good and bad sides of texting.